The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Randomize
