I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
