i'm signing you up for texting rehab
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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