She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize