i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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