Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
