Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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