I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
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