it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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