Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Randomize
