I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
