her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
do nipples grow back?
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