He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
