dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize