She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
