Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize
