Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
