I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
