I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
