why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
