Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
