Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
