Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
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