I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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