Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
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