I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize