Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
