Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Randomize
