Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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