he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
