Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
well I can't set my house on fire every night
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
