Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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