I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
