It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
