im about as happy as oj after his trial
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
