the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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