Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
