He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Randomize
