He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
