Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize