You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
