Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy sore nipples Batman
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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