thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
