He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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