literally had 100 drinks last night.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
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