Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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