I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
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