Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Randomize
