if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize