needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
