it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
