So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
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