If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
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