So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Holy shit dude........stairs
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
