I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Its about making memories worth repressing
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
