No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
