And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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