JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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