we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
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