So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Randomize
